Growing up and growing apart

Friendships come to an end not just because of distance. Sometimes it’s due to different stages in life: friends who graduated early and started working, friends who married early and started a family…

As I grow older, it seems more inevitable that friendships are always evolving. It’s not like high school, where you see the same people everyday; eat lunch everyday and hang out on the weekends. It requires more effort to keep in touch with those around you. We all have different responsibilities as we grow older. Maybe from work, or from our own families…

I seldom talk to my high school friends and except for a few, I barely talk to my friends from university. Friendships are a two way thing, and I’ll admit my personality is part of the blame. I don’t like texting, I prefer talking on the phone. I don’t like small talk, I prefer serious conversations. I don’t like staying in one place for too long, I prefer exploring.

The latter gets me in the most trouble. It gets hard to keep in touch when you’re always moving. It feels like I’m always making new friends, always getting to know someone. I miss being able to know someone like the back of my hand. I miss being able to call friends late at night and talk about random things…

I’m not the type of person to get attached to people, but it still hurts a bit when a friendship comes to an end. Regardless of how the friendship ended, the relationship is over. And sometimes that realization is harder to come to terms with than anything else.


Home, a casualty of circumstance

An indescribable yearning to return to
where my skin feels at home,
where my identity isn’t questioned
where I’m not expected to assimilate,
or told to behave like citizens,
the very same ones that never fully accept

But in my country of birth,
I am ostracized
they judge my migrant soles, a traitor
for neglecting my ethnic roots.

And I’m reminded that
No city is ever home
I am the nomad, the wanderer, the chameleon
A foreigner,
Even in my own (home)land.